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摘要

“身勢(shì)語(yǔ)”同語(yǔ)言一樣，都是文化的一部分。在不同文化中，身勢(shì)語(yǔ)的意義并不完全相同。各民族有不同的非語(yǔ)言交際方式.例如：不同的民族在談話時(shí)，對(duì)雙方保持多大距離才合適有不同的看法；談話雙方身體接觸的次數(shù)多少因文化不同而各異；在目光接觸這一方面也有許多規(guī)定：看不看對(duì)方，什么時(shí)候看，看多久，什么人可以看，什么人不可以看；在某些場(chǎng)合下，在中國(guó)和講英語(yǔ)的國(guó)家無(wú)論微笑還是大笑，通常表示友好﹑贊同﹑滿意﹑高興﹑愉快，但是在某些場(chǎng)合，中國(guó)人的笑會(huì)引起西方人的反感；打手勢(shì)時(shí)動(dòng)作稍有不同，就會(huì)與原來(lái)的意圖有所區(qū)別，對(duì)某種手勢(shì)理解錯(cuò)了，也會(huì)引起意外的反應(yīng)等等。因此，要用外語(yǔ)進(jìn)行有效的交際，在說(shuō)某種語(yǔ)言時(shí)就得了解說(shuō)話人的手勢(shì)，動(dòng)作，舉止等所表示的意思。而有些權(quán)威人士認(rèn)為兩者相互依存。在大多數(shù)情況下這是對(duì)的。在某些情況下，人體動(dòng)作與所說(shuō)的話不一致，口頭說(shuō)的與身勢(shì)語(yǔ)表達(dá)的意思不一樣。這時(shí)要借助其他信息或從整個(gè)情況中猜測(cè)說(shuō)話人的意思，從某種意義上說(shuō)，一切身勢(shì)語(yǔ)都要放在一定的情景下去理解；忽視了整個(gè)情景就會(huì)發(fā)生誤解。而通過(guò)中美身勢(shì)語(yǔ)對(duì)比研究表明，兩者有相似的地方，也有差異的地方，說(shuō)明了解另一種語(yǔ)言中身勢(shì)語(yǔ)的重要性。可見(jiàn)，真正掌握兩種語(yǔ)言的人在換用另一種語(yǔ)言說(shuō)話時(shí)也要換用另一種身勢(shì)語(yǔ)。這樣才能達(dá)到更好的交際效果。

關(guān)鍵詞:非語(yǔ)言交際身勢(shì)語(yǔ)不同文化不同方式

BodyLanguageonNonverbalCommunication

Abstract

“Bodylanguage”,likeourverballanguage,isalsoapartofourculture.Butnotallbodylanguagemeansthesamethingindifferentcultures.Differentpeoplehavedifferentwaysofmakingnonverbalcommunication.Forexample:differentpeoplehavedifferentideasabouttheproperdistancebetweenpeopleconversing;theappropriatenessofphysicalcontactvarieswithdifferentcultures;onecoulddrawupquitealistof“rules”abouteyecontact:tolookornottolook;whentolookandhowlongtolook;whoandwhonottolookat;smilesandlaughterusuallyconveyfriendliness,approval,satisfaction,pleasure,joyandmerriment,and,thisisgenerallytrueinChinaaswellastheEnglish-speakingcountries,however,therearesituationswhensomeChinesewilllaughthatwillcausenegativereactionsbywesterners;gesturescanbeparticularlytroublesome,foraslightdifferenceinmakingthegestureitselfcanmeansomethingquitedifferentfromthatintended,and,awronginterpretationofagesturecanarousequiteunexpectedreactionsandsoon.Soinordertocommunicateeffectivelyinaforeignlanguage,oneshouldknowalsothegestures,bodymovements,mannerismsandetc.thataccompanyaparticularlanguage.Someauthoritiesfeelthatthetwoaredependentoneachother.Thisiscertainlytrueinmostsituations.Butitisalsotruethatincertainsituationsbodyactioncontradictswhatisbeingsaid,justasthespokenwordsmaymeansomethingquitedifferentfromwhatbodylanguagecommunicates.Whenthisoccurs,onemusttrytogetfurtherinformation,orguessthemeaningfromthecontextofthesituation.Inasense,allbodylanguageshouldbeinterpretedwithinagivencontext;toignoretheoverallsituationcouldbemisleading.AcomparativestudyofChineseandAmericanbodylanguageshowsanumberofsimilaritiesanddiversitiesofbodylanguage.Itshowstheimportanceofknowingthespecificgesturesthatgowithalanguage.Observationshowsthatatrulybilingualpersonswitcheshisbodylanguageatthesametimeheswitcheslanguages.Thismakescommunicationeasierandbetter.

Butnotallbodylanguagemeansthesamethingindifferentcultures.Differentpeoplehavedifferentwaysofmakingnonverbalcommunication.Theanswerstothequestionsatthebeginningofthischapterareall“no”.Evennoddingtheheadmayhaveadifferentmeaning.ToNepalese,SriLankans,someIndiansandsomeEskimositmeansnot“yes”,but“no”.Soinordertocommunicateeffectivelyinaforeignlanguage,oneshouldknowalsothegestures,bodymovements,mannerismsandetc.thataccompanyaparticularlanguage.

Bodylanguageisanimportantmediathroughwhichpeoplecommunicatewitheachother.Itreferstothepatternsoffacialexpressionsandgesturesthatpeopleusetoexpresstheirfeelingsincommunication.Thespecialistonbodylanguageresearch—Fen.Lafle.Angles,oncesaid:"Onceitwaslost,ababycouldnthavegrownintoanormalperson".Itsalsotruetothejuveniles.Inschooleducation,bodylanguageplaysapositiveroleincultivatingthestudentscharacters.

3.Theconcretetypesandapplicationofthebodylanguage

3.1Typesofbodylanguage

3.1.1Distancebetweenpeopleconversing

WatchanArabandanEnglishmaninconversation.TheArab,showingfriendlinessinthemannerofhispeople,willstandclosetotheEnglishman.Thelatterwillmoveback,watchingtotheEnglishman.TheArabwillthenmoveforwardtobecloser;theEnglishmanwillkeepmovingbackward.Bytheendoftheconversation,thetwomaybequiteadistancefromtheconversation;thetwomaybequiteadistancefromtheplacewheretheywereoriginallystanding!

Here,distancebetweenthetwoisthekeyfactor.Differentpeoplehavedifferentideasabouttheproperdistancebetweenpeopleconversing.Accordingtostudies,itseemstherearefourmaindistancesinAmericansocialandbusinessrelations:intimate,personal,social,andpublic.Intimatedistancerangesfromdirectphysicalcontacttoadistanceofabout45centimeters;thisisforpeople’smostprivaterelationsandactivities,betweenmanandwife,forexample.Personaldistanceisabout45—80centimetersandismostcommonwhenfriends,acquaintancesandrelativesconverse.Socialdistancemaybeanywherefromabout1.30metersto3meters;peoplewhoworktogether,orpeopledoingbusiness,aswellasmostofthoseinconversationatsocialgatheringstendtokeepadistanceisfartherthananyoftheaboveandisgenerallyforspeakersinpublicandforteachersinclassrooms.

TheimportantthingtokeepinmindisthatmostEnglish-speakingpeopledonotlikepeopletobetooclose.Beingtoofarapart,ofcourse,maybeawkward,butbeingtooclosemakespeopleuncomfortable,unlessthereisareason,suchasshowingaffectionorencouragingintimacy.Butthatisanothermatter.

3.1.2Physicalcontact

Theappropriatenessofphysicalcontactvarieswithdifferentcultures.Figuresfromastudyofferinterestinginsightintothismatter.Pairsofindividualssittingandchattingincollegeshopsindifferentplaceswereobservedforatlastonehoureach.Thenumberoftimesthateitheronetouchedtheotherinthatonehourwasrecorded,asfollows:London,0;Gainesville,Florida,2;Pairs,10;SanJuan,PuertoRico,180.Thesefiguresspeakforthemselves.(Robinett,1978)

InEnglish-speakingcountries,physicalcontactisgenerallyavoidedinconversationamongordinaryfriendsoracquaintances.Merelytouchingsomeonemaycauseanunpleasantreaction.Ifonetouchesanotherpersonaccidentally,he/sheusuallyuttersanapologysuchas“Sorry,Oh,I’msorry,Excuseme.”

InChina,acommoncomplaintofwesternmothersisthatChineseoftenfondletheirbabiesandverysmallchildren.Suchbehavior—whethertouching,patting,huggingorkissing—canbequiteembarrassingandawkwardforthemothers.Theyknowthatnoharmismeant,andthatsuchgesturesaremerelysignsoffriendlinessoraffection,thereforetheycannotopenlyshowtheirdispleasure.Ontheotherhand,suchactionsintheirownculturewouldbeconsideredrude,intrusiveandoffensiveandcouldarouseastrongdislikeandevenrepugnance.Sothemothersoftenstandbyandwatchinawkwardsilence,withmixedemotions,evenwhenthefondlingisbyChinesefriendsoracquaintances.

Goingbeyondthemilderformsoftouching,weshalltakeupthematterofhuggingandembracinginpublic.Thispracticeisfairlycommonamongwomeninmanycountries.Andinmostofthemoreindustrializedcountries,itoccursfrequentlybetweenhusbandandwifeandclosemembersofthefamilywhenmeetingafteraperiodofabsence.Huggingandembracingamongmen,however,isadifferentmatter.AmongArabs,Russians,French,andinseveraloftheeastEuropeanandMediterraneancountries,awarmhugandakissonthecheeksareastandardwayofwelcome.ThesameistruewithsomeLatinAmericans.InEastAsiaandintheEnglish-speakingcountries,though,thepracticeisseldomseen.Asimplehandshakeisthecustom.ThestoryistoldofwhathappenednotlongagowhentheJapaneseprimeministeratthetime,Mr.Fukuda,wenttotheU.S.onastatevisit.Whenhesteppedoutofhiscarinfrontofthewhitehouse,hewasgreetedbytheAmericanpresidentwhita“bearhug”.Theprimeministerwasflabbergasted;othersoftheJapanesedelegationwereamazed;manyAmericansweresurprised—itwassounusualandsounexpected.IfthepresidenthadbowedlowinJapanesefashion,itwouldhavebeenlessasurprisethantobegreetedinawaysouncommonineithercountry!

ThematterofphysicalcontactbetweenmembersofthesamesexinEnglish-speakingcountriesisadelicateone.Oncepastchildhood,theholdingofhands,orwalkingwithanarmaroundanother’sshoulderisnotconsideredproper.Theimplicationishomosexuality,andhomosexualitygenerallyarousesstrongsocialdisapprovalinthesecountries.

3.1.3Eyecontact

Eyecontactisanimportantaspectofbodylanguage.Onecoulddrawupquitealistof“rules”abouteyecontact:tolookornottolook;whentolookandhowlongtolook;whoandwhonottolookat.ThesepassagesfromthebookBodyLanguage(Fast,1971)areamusingaswellasinformative:

“Towstrangersseatedacrossfromeachotherinarailwaydiningcarhavetheoptionofintroducingthemselvesandfacingamealofinconsequentialandperhapsboringtalk,orignoringeachotheranddesperatelytryingtoavoideachother’sglance.Awriter,describingsuchasituationinanessay,wrote,‘theyre-readthemenu,theyfoolwiththecutlery,estheinevitablemomentwhenglancesmeet,buttheymeetonlytoshootinstantlyawayandoutthewindowforanintentviewofthepassingscene.’”

Hepointsoutthatwithpeoplewhoareunfamiliar:

“Wemustvoidstaringatthem,andyetwemustalsoavoidignoringthem…Welookatthemlongenoughtomakeitquiteclearthatweseethem,andthenweimmediatelylookaway.

Therearedifferentformulasfortheexchangeofglancesdependingonwherethemeetingtakesplace.Ifyoupasssomeoneinthestreetyoumayeyetheoncomingpersontillyouareabouteightfeetapart,thenyoumustlookawayasyoupass.Beforetheeight-footdistanceisreached,eachwillsignalinwhichdirectionhewillpass.Thisisdonewithabrieflookinthatdirection.Eachwillveerslightly,andthepassingisdonesmoothly.”

Inconversationswithpeoplewhoknoweachother,however,Americancustomdemandsthatthereshouldbeeyecontact.Thisappliestoboththespeakerandthelistener.Foreitheronenottolookattheotherpersoncouldimplyanumberofthings,amongwhicharefear,contempt,uneasiness,guilt,indifference,eveninpublicspeakingthereshouldbeplentyofeyecontact.Foraspeakerto“burryhisnoseinhismanuscript”,toreadaspeechinsteadoflookingatandtalkingtohidaudience,assomeChinesespeakersareinthehabitofdoing,wouldberegardedasinconsiderateanddisrespectful.

Inconversation,apersonshowsthatheislisteningbylookingattheotherperson’seyesorface.Iftheotherpersonisspeakingatsomelength,thelistenerwilloccasionallymakesoundslike“Hmm”,“Ummm”,ornodhisheadtoindicatehisattention.Ifheagreeswiththespeaker,hemaynodorsmile.Ifhedisagreesorhassomereservations,hemayslanthisheadtooneside,raiseaneyebrow,haveaquizzicallook.

StaringatpeopleorholdingaglancetoolongisconsideredimproperinEnglish-speakingcountries.Evenwhenthelookmaybeoneofappreciation—asofbeauty—itmaymakepeopleuneasyandembarrassed.ManyAmericanstravelingabroadfindthestaresofthelocalpeopleirritating.Theybecomeextremelyself-consciousandoftenendupquiteindignantaboutthe“rudeness”ofthepeoplethere,notrealizingthatthepracticemaybequitecommoninthecountryandmaybenothingmorethancuriosity.ManyEnglish-speakingpeopleinchinahaveheardtocomplainaboutthis.

“Thelanguageoftheeyes”—oneofthemostcommonandancientwaysofexchangingfeelingsbetweenboysandgirls,menandwomen—isespeciallyelaborateintheUnitedStates.Muchstudyhasbeenmadeofthis:howpeopleoftheoppositesexshowinterestorindifference,encouragementordiscouragement,approvalordisapproval,affectionoraversion.However,therearemanydifferencesevenwithintheUnitedStates.Menusetheireyesindifferentwaysthanwomen;therearedifferencesofage,classorsocialstatusandgeographicalregion;therearedifferencesofethnicbackground.

ThestoryistoldofateenagePuertoRicangirlinaNewYorkhighschoolwhowastakenwithanumberofothergirlstotheprincipalforsuspectedsmoking.Althoughtherewasnoproofofanywrongdoingandalthoughshehadagoodrecord,theprincipaldecidedshewasguiltyandsuspendedher.“Therewassomethingslyandsuspiciousabouther,”hesaidinhisreport.“Shejustwouldn’tmeetmyeye.Shewouldn’tlookatme.”

Whenshewasquestionedbytheprincipalitwastruethatshekeptstaringatthefloorandrefusedtomeethiseye.AndinEnglishthereisasaying“Don’ttrustanyonewhowon’tlookatyouintheeye.”

ItsohappenedthatoneoftheteachershadaLatinAmericanbackgroundandknewaboutPuertoRicanculture.Aftertalkingwiththegirl’sparents,hewenttotheprincipalandexplainedthataccordingtoPuertoRicanculture,agoodgirl“doesnotmeettheeyesofanadult.”Suchbehavior,heexplained,“isasignofrespectandobedience.”

Fortunately,theprincipalacceptedtheexplanation,admittedhismistakeandthematterwassettledproperly.Thisdifferenceininterpretingasimpleeyegesturewasalessoninculturaldiversitythathewouldnoteasilyforget.

Rulesabouteye-languagearenumerousandcomplex.Whathasbeenmentionedgivesagoodideaofthis;weshallnotgofurtherintodetail.

3.1.4Smilesandlaughter

Smilesandlaughterusuallyconveyfriendliness,approval,satisfaction,pleasure,joyandmerriment.ThisisgenerallytrueinChinaaswellastheEnglish-speakingcountries.However,therearesituationswhensomeChinesewilllaughthatwillcausenegativereactionsbywesterners.Toillustrate,hereisanexcerptfromaletterbyanAmericantoaChinesefriendonnonverbalgesturesthatoftencausecross-culturalmisunderstanding:

“…OneisthedifferentmeaningoflaughterinChinaandAmerican.WhenanAmericanisparkinghisbicycle,forexample,andthebicycleaccidentallyfallsover,hefeelsembarrassedathisawkwardness,andisquiteangeredandhumiliatedwhenChineseonlookerslaugh.Ihaveseenthesamethinghappeninthediningroom,whenaforeignerdropsaplatequitebyaccidentandfeelsbadlyandChineseonlookerslaugh,compoundinghisdiscomfortandcausingangerandbadfeeling.”

Suchlaughter,ofcourse,isnotatthepersonorhismisfortune—whetherhebeaforeigneroraChinese.Itcanconveyanumberoffeelings:don’ttakeitsoseriously;laughitoff,it’snothing;suchthingscanhappentoanyofus,etc.However,forpeopleunawareofthisattitude,thereactiontosuchlaughterisusuallyquiteunpleasantandoftengeneratesillfeelingtowardsthoselaughing.

3.1.5Gestures

Gesturescanbeparticularlytroublesome,foraslightdifferenceinmakingthegestureitselfcanmeansomethingquitedifferentfromthatintended.Awronginterpretationofagesturecanarousequiteunexpectedreactions.

Awell-knowncaseisagesturemadebyWinstonChurchill,thedoughtyprimeministerwholedBritainthroughtheSecondWorldWar.Asheappearedbeforealargecrowd,hewasgreetedwithcheersandapplause.TheoccasionwasamomentousoneandChurchillflashedthe“Vforvictory”sign—withtheforefingerandmiddlefingerraisedtoforma“V”.Whetherbymistakeorignorance,insteadoffacingthepalmofhishandtothefront,hemadethe“V”withthebackofhishandtowardstheaudience.Someinthecrowdapplauded;somegasped;somebrokeoutinlaughter.Theprimeminister’sgesture,asgiven,meantquitesomethingelse.Insteadof“Vforvictory”,itmeantsomethingdirty;itwasanobscenegesture!

3.2Applicationofthebodylanguage

3.2.1Greetings

HoahasjustarrivedfromVietnam.HercousinPhuongandsomeofhisAmericanfriendsarewaitingattheairporttogreether.HoaandPhuongarebothexcitedaboutthismeetingbecausetheyhavebeenseparatedforsevenyears.AssoonasHoaentersthepassengerterminal,PhuongintroduceshertohisfriendsTom,Don,andCharles.TomstepsforwardandhugsandkissesHoa.Shepusheshimawayandburstsintotears.

AmongChinesefromVietnam,ifaboyhugsandkissesagirlinpublic,heinsultsher.ChinesecultureinVietnamisverystrictaboutthis,especiallyintheruralareaswhereHoagrewup.Shedescribedhervillage:“Afterchildrenaretenyearsold,boysandgirlscannotplaytogether.Aboyandgirlcannotdatewithouttheirparents’approval.Amanandwomancannothugorkissifthey’renotmarried.”

InHoa’svillageifanyoneviolatedtheserules,thevillagerspunishedthegirlbyforcinghertokneelonthegroundsotheycouldspitatherandthrowrocksather.NowonderthatPuong’sAmericanfriendsfrightenedHoa.Shedidnotknowwhatpunishmentforpublichuggingandkissingmightbemetedouttoherinthiscountry.SheconfusedTom,whobyAmericanstandardswasdongtherightthing.

EventuallyHoalearnedtobecomfortablewhengreetedwithhugsandkisses,acceptingthemasmerelyperfunctoryacts.

AnalogoustothissituationisanotherinwhichDuane,aChineseAmericanemployee,invitedhisnon-Chineseboss,Mr.Keck,toalargefamilycelebration.WhenMr.Keckarrived,heshookhandswithDuaneand,whenintroducedtoDuane’sgrandmother,leanedoverandkissedheronthecheek.Thisshockedtheolderwoman,yetMr.Keckwastotallyunawarethathehadcommittedasocialblunder.Whatheconsideredasarespectfulact,grandmotherconsidereddisrespectful.Instead,Mr.Keckshouldhavenoddedtotheolderwomanandofferedheraverbalgreeting.

WhenestablishingrelationswithAsians,avoidbodycontact.Thesafestformistonodandgiveaverbalsalutation.Followtheirleadastherelationshipchanges.

Likecustomseverywhere,increasedcross-culturalinteractionbringsaboutchangesinhabits;manyAsianbusinesspeoplehaveaccommodatedtotheAmericanhandshakingtradition.Ontheotherhand,inasituationwhereitseemsasifbowingwouldstillbetheonlypolitemovetomake—especiallytotheJapanese—followingtheseguidelinesshouldmakeiteasier.

WhenbowingtopeoplefromJapan,handsshouldslidedowntowardthekneesorremainattheside.

Backandneckshouldbeheldinarigidposition,whileeyeslookdownward.

Thepersonintheinferiorpositionalwaysbowslongerandlower.

ThosefromIndia,SriLanka,andBangladeshusethenamasteforbothgreetingandfarewellsandasasignofrespect.Theydothisbyholdingtheirhandschest-highinaprayerlikeposition,thenslightlynodthehead;buttheydonotbow.AmericanstudentsofyogawhoaretaughtbyAsianteachersbecomefamiliarwiththisgesturethatheraldsthebeginningofeachsession.Thaishaveasimilargreeting,buttheycallitawai.

WhilebodycontactisgenerallytabooinmostAsiancountries,elsewhere,bodycontactisexpected;shyingawayfromcontactgivesoffnegativesignals.

Whengreeting,peoplefromIndian,SriLanka,Bangladesh,andThailandholdtheirhandstogetherinfrontoftheirchinsinaprayerlikepositionandnodtheirheads.

Whengreeting,mostLatinosexpectbodycontact.Huggingandkissingonthecheckareacceptableforboththesamesexandtheoppositesex.Theabrazoiscommonplace—friendsembraceandsimultaneouslypateachotherontheback.

Whengreeting,mostmiddleeasterners,especiallyMuslims,avoidbodycontactwiththeoppositesex,butmenmayembraceandkissoneanther.Womenmaydothesame.Whenshakinghands,menshouldavoidpullingtheirhandsawaytooquickly.

WhengreetingmostAmericans,expectsomabodycontract.Womenkissonceoneachcheekandhug;menshakehands.Menmayalsohugandkisswomenonthecheekiftheyareclosefriends.

WhengreetingorthodoxJews,avoidbodycontactwiththeoppositesex.

3.2.2Signsofaffection

ShereeBykofsky,anAmericanwriter,isthrilledwhenacruiseshiplinepurchasescopiesofherhewromantictravelguide,thebestplacetokissinandaroundNewYorkCity.Thecruiselineplanstogivethebooksasdinnerfavorsduringtheirspecialvalentine’scruise.

TheyinviteShereeonboardtogreetthepassengersandautographtheircopies.TheAmericansandEuropeansdelightinmeetingtheauthorandhavinghersigntheirbooks.However,whenShereevisitsthetablesoftheJapanesepassengers,mostofthemrefusetoacknowledgeher.

Japanesepeopledonotapproveofpublicbodycontactand,thus,havedevelopedacomplexsystemofbowingtoexpressrelationships.Touchingamemberoftheoppositesexisparticularlyrepugnanttotheirsensitivities;consequently,kissinginpublicisconsideredadisgracefulact.

TheJapanesesnubbedShereebecausethetitleofherbooksuggestedbehaviorthatdidnotconformtotheirstandardsofrespect.Theywouldnotacknowledgeherbecause,intheireyes,shepromotedvulgarity.

AsiansfromcountriesotherthanJapanareequallydisapprovingwhentheyseeAmericanmenandwomenortwomentowalkinpublicholdinghands.However,whentheypracticethissignoffriendshipinthestates,theyarefrequentlymistakenforhomosexuals.Thisshocksthem.

Same-sexhandholdingorwalkingarm-in-armalsooccursamongLatinos,French,Spanish,Italians,Greeks,andmiddleeasterners.

MostJapanesepeoplestronglydisapproveofpublicexpressionofaffectionbymalesandfemalesthroughkissingoranyotherformofbodycontact.

Same-sexhandholdingbetweenAsians,middle-easterners,Latinos,orthosefromMediterraneancountriesisasignoffriendship.Walkingwitharmsoneachother’sshouldersorwithhandsorarmslinkedalsoequateswithcamaraderie.

3.2.3Physicalcontact

WhenDorothyreceivesaweddinginvitationtoattendherJapaneseneighbor’swedding,sheisthrilled.ShehasalwaysadmiredtheYamashitafamily.Sheisveryfondoflance,theabout-to-be-marriedson,andfeelsextremelyclosetoGrace,hismother.Dorothyfeelshonoredtobeincludedinthefamilyfestivities.

Afterthebeautifulchurchceremony,Dorothystandsinlinetogreetthebridalparty.However,whenDorothy,averyaffectionateperson,stepsforwardtoembracethemotherofthegroom,Gracestepsbackward.

Dorothyfeelsrejected.

Evenatsuchajoyousoccasionasawedding,Japanesecustomsaboutphysicalcontactinpublicarenotrelaxed,evenwhentakingplacebetweenthesamesex.Truly,moreformalityisdemonstratedinsuchsituations.Considertheextremereservedisplayedatthe1993royalweddingofcrownprinceNaruhitotoMassakoOwada.Thephysicalactsoftheroyalcoupleconsistedonlyofsippingsacredsakeandmakingbows—notouching,nohugging,nokissingbetweenthecouple,certainlynonebytheweddingguests.

InDorothy’ssituation,eventhoughshefeltveryclosetoGrace,shewouldhavebeenmoresociallycorrecthadshebowedherheadslightlyandthenofferedonlyverbalfelicitations.Insituationslikethese,itisbesttoobservethemannerinwhichotherweddingguestscongratulatefamilymembersandthenfollowtheirexample.

3.3AcomparativestudyofChineseandAmericanbodylanguage

AcomparativestudyofChineseandAmericanbodylanguageshowsanumberofsimilarities;forexample:mendon’thugorembracewhenmeeting;ahandshakeisthemostcommongesturethatgoeswithagreeting;wavingahandtosay“goodbye”isthesame;afrownshowsdispleasure,andthewrinklingofone’snoseisasignofdislike,disgustordisapproval;noddingmeans“yes”,andshakingone’sheadmeans“no”;poutinghasthesamemeaning—displeasure,badhumor,resentment;apatonthebackofamanorboyindicatesapproval,praise,encouragement;grittingone’steethmayexpressanger,fury,ordetermination.

Thechartsonthefollowingpagesprovideexamplesofsomeofthedifference:

DifferentBodyLanguage,SameMeaning

MeaningBodyLanguageinChinaBodyLanguageinU.S.

“Comehere”(beckoningsomeonetocome)handextendedtowardperson,openpalm,palmdown,withallfingerscrookedinabeckoningmotionhandextendedtowardperson,closedhand,palmup,withforefingeronlymovingbackandforth(inchinathissamegesturewouldbeconsideredoffensivebymany)

“Shameonyou!”(semi-jokinggesture)forefingerofonehandextended,tiptouchesone’sownfaceseveraltimesquickly;similartoscratching,butwiththeforefingerstraight(usuallywiththeremark“shameonyou!”)forefingerofeachhandextended,palmsdowninfrontofone’sbody;oneforefingermakesseveralbrushingmovementsoverthebackoftheotherforefinger

‘I’mveryfull”(afterameal)oneorbothhandsopen,lightlypattingone’sownstomachhandraisedtothroat,fingersextended,palmdown(oftenwiththeremark“I’mfulluptohere.”)

SameBodyLanguageinTowCultures

butwithDifferentMeaning

MeaninginChinaBodyLanguageMeaninginU.S.

anger,irritation,frustration,remorsestampingone’sfootimpatience

thankyou;mutualpositivefeelingsspeakerorperformerclappingatsametimeaudienceapplaudsapplaudingoneself;improper,immodest

Keywords:nonverbalcommunicationbodylanguagedifferentculturedifferentways

Contents

1.Introduction……1

2.Thenecessityandimportanceoflearningbodylanguageonnonverbalcommunication……2

3.Theconcretetypesandapplicationofthebodylanguage……3

3.1Typesofbodylanguage……3

3.1.1Distancebetweenpeopleconversing……3

3.1.2Physicalcontact……3

3.1.3Eyecontact……4

3.1.4Smilesandlaughter……6

3.1.5Gestures……6

3.2Applicationofthebodylanguage……6

3.2.1Greetings……6

3.2.2Signsofaffection……8

3.2.3Physicalcontactinlife……8

3.3AcomparativestudyofChineseandAmericanbodylanguage……9

4.Conclusion……12

1.Introduction

WhenaChineseconverseswithaCanadianorAmericanfriendoftheoppositesex,woulditbeindecenttobelookingattheotherperson?

Iftwoyoungfriendsofthesamesexwalkwiththeirarmsaroundeachother’sshouldersorholdhands,wouldthisberegardedbyEnglish-speakingpeopleasproper?

Doesnoddingtheheadmean“yes”,andshakingtheheadmean“no”inallcultures?

Therearenotquestionsaboutlanguage,butaboutbodylanguage,aboutnonverbalcommunication.

Nonverbalcommunication,composedofpictures,dresses,eyecontact,spatialsignals,gesturesandsoon,isasimportantasverbalcommunication.

Peoplecommunicateinmanydifferentways.Oneofthemostimportantways,ofcourse,isthroughlanguage.Moreover,whenlanguageiswrittenitcanbecompletelyisolatedfromthecontextinwhichitoccurs;itcanbetreatedasifitwereanindependentandself-containedprocess.

Likeallanimals,peoplecommunicatebytheiractionsaswellasbythenoisestheymake.Itisasortofbiologicalanomalyofman—somethinglikethegiraffe’sneck,orthepelican’sbeak—thatourvocalnoiseshavesoforoutgrowninimportanceandfrequencyallourothermethodsofsignalingtooneanother.Languageisobviouslyessentialforhumanbeings,butitisnotthewholestoryofhumancommunication.Notbyalongshot.

Thestudyofnonverbalcommunicationshouldbecomplementarytothestudyoflanguage.Theunderstandingofoneshouldbehelpfulinthefurtherunderstandingoftheother.Someauthoritiesfeelthatthetwoaredependentoneachother.Thisiscertainlytrueinmostsituations.Butitisalsotruethatincertainsituationbodyactioncontradictswhatisbeingsaid,justasthespokenwordsmaymeansomethingquitedifferentfromwhatnonverbalcommunicationcommunicates.Whenthisoccurs,onemusttrytogetfurtherinformation,orguessthemeaningfromthecontextofthesituation.Inacase,allnonverbalcommunicationshouldbeinterpretedwithinagivencontext;toignoretheoverallsituationcouldbemisleading.

2.Thenecessityandimportanceoflearningbodylanguageonnonverbalcommunication

Althoughwemaynotrealizeit,whenweconversewithotherswecommunicatebymuchmorethanwords.Byourexpressions,gesturesandotherbodymovementswesendmessagestothesearoundusasmileandanoutstretchedhandshowwelcome.Aformisasignofdispleasure.Noddingone’sheadmeansagreement—“Yes”.Wavinganoutstretchedhandwithopenpalmisthegesturefor“goodbye”.Leaningbackinone’sseatandyawningatatalkorlectureshowslackofinterest,boredom.Thesegestureshavecometobeacceptedingeneralashavingthemeaningsmentioned,atlasttoChineseandAmericans.Therearepartsofthewayinwhichwecommunicate.This“bodylanguage”,likeourverballanguage,isalsoapartofourculture.